Post-LSAT life is just so stressful. Job searches and more job searches. Statement writing. Oh, and talking with my dad. WAIT! Before you start cursing me for saying a completely horrid thing about my dad, I have to tell you that my dad watches FOX NEWS. Every night.
Now, my dad is wonderful in so many ways. He’s funny and sweet and caring and random and quirky. He’ll do anything in the world for his family… except stop watching fox news (unless a football game is on.) And now that I no longer have the LSAT to bust out as my get out of jail card, I am a bit obligated to engage in “conversations” with him regarding politics. It’s not usually very pretty. Just had a particularly unpleasant one, and now I feel like listing why I dislike Fox News… here goes:
1. Extreme conservatism is the same nonsensical bull crap as extreme anything else. Don’t criticize the left for doing the exact same thing you do. CHANGE IT.
2. Neener-neener is not part of a sound argumentative strategy. Nor is “I know you are but what am I?”
3. God did not give Fox News divine powers to be right when wrong. Wrong is still wrong, even for Republicans.
4. Flashy flag waving graphics and long legged women in short skirts does not make you more patriotic.
5. Only very slender and sexualized women with overly teased hair, caked on make up and “yes, sir” attitudes get airtime. All other women are debased and chastised and demonized. Bunch of f-ing misogynists.
6. Fox News uses brainwashing techniques and people eat it up without question. So dangerous.
7. The argument does not get better with each time you repeat it. Unsound reasoning cannot be made right by repeating it over and over again. Each time louder and louder.
8. There is absolutely no regard for civility on that channel, which sadly reflects on its viewers’ tastes for the vulgar and crass. … my dad is obviously excluded from that statement.
9. Orange face is not attractive. It’s odd, especially when your orange face is contrasted by your pastey white neck. Either get a tan or pick a foundation color that more closely matches the complexion you’ve got. ORANGE is offended.
10. Everyone on that channel is mean spirited (save for Greta Vansustren…. at least from what I’ve seen of her show.) Maybe they put down and belittle anyone who doesn’t think like them in order to mask the fact that what they have to say makes absolutely no sense. Or maybe they’re just bullies who have never gotten a proper kick in the rear. SHOTGUN! I call shotgun (if that’s the correct term.) If ever there comes a time to give any of them a proper kick in the arse, I want to be the first one.
So, there’s my list… So, in my perfect world, I’m employed at a very awesome place, a shoo in at the law schools I want to go to, and never again will I have to listen to the rubbish on Fox News ever again.
RUBBISH!
Bananas 